Prompt #5 (Question #7)

It seems like just yesterday that i was walking up to the front entrance door of Ocean City Elementary School. I can recall being quite nervous and anxious to find out if my first day of tutoring was going to be similar to what i had envisioned in my mind. I have to say that this experience has taught me more than i thought possible and has placed a great amount of impact on my teacher identity. I have realized that in almost every lesson plan there are students that will completely understand while others have no clue as how to tackle the assignment. Just because it may seem that the class understands the assignment does not neccessarily mean that there is not a student out there who isnt struggling. I want to be the teacher who reaches all students and makes sure that i have tought the lesson so thouroughly and percisely so that no child feels left behind. I remember sitting behind my desk as a grade schooler while the teacher went further on in a lesson that i had been confused on from the start. I wasnt the type of child who would make it a point to speak out and announce that i was having a problem so I therefore would become more and more confused as the lesson went on. Although it may appear that the classroom understands the teacher that is often not the case. As I spent time observing the teacher and walking up and down the aisles I noticed that many students seemed lost, which would then lead to disengagement and a lack of attention. Observing this happen has made me realize that as a teacher i need to be extra attentive towards all students and make sure that everyone is on the same page before i move on.

Being involved in a public providence school has exposed me to students of many different cultures. Just because my background is different than my students does not mean that i cannot understand them and their upbringing. The FNED course and the turtoring has worked together to bring me to the realization that although racism has quited down it still exists in many places including the classroom. At first I didnt realize how i could possibly exclude a minority student unless i purposely made a racist remark or intentionally excluded them. However, i have come to realize that minorities are excluded in the curriculum, in the English language, through teaching styles, the manner in which the teacher speaks, and so on. Now that i am aware of this i can make a deliberate effort to avoid this type of exclusion and make sure that not one student feels like he/she is not a part of the classroom. Theorist Allen Johnson wrote an article titled, "Whos Me?What it means to be involved in Priviledge and Oppression". This article focuses on how certain groups of people for example, whites whose main language is english have priviledges over other groups of people who for example may not have the main language of Enlgish. If spanish speaking people are in a society where English is used then they automatically have a setback towards other people. This article has made me think twice before i label a student as lazy and has encouraged me to instead recognize the cultural barriers that may be delaying this childs learning. While some students may catch on really quickly it may be due to their priviledges and not that they are smarter than some other students in the room.

I've also learned that from the first day I start officially teaching that I must present myself in a manner that doesn't necessarily intimidate the students but that let's them know who is in control. When I first started turtoring I worked with my children on a one on one basis, which allowed me to get to know the child and have an idea of their reading levels. Once I started doing partner activities I realized that I had lost a sense of authority since they no longer listened to what i was instructing them to do. After several failed attempts of trying to get them under control while still being extremely friendly I realized that if I wanted to improve their reading skills then I would have to be stricter and let them know that I was not joking around with them. If I had trouble controlling two kids I wonder how much difficulty I would have with controlling an entire classroom. I think my mistake in this situation was that the students first impression of me was that I was more of a friend to them and lacked any kind of authority. Once a child has made their initial judgement on someone it is hard to change it and hard to win over control once you have been marked as a friend or overly nice. Therefore, I now know that from the second I start teaching I must give off a strong impression of authority so that the students do not end up calling the shots.

This expereince has guided me on the path to deciding what kind of teacher I want to be. I want to be a teacher that challenges the status quo by incorporating different teaching styles into the daily lesson plans. Instead of just having my students take notes I want them to be able to participate and do activities that helps them learn the material. I want my students to have open discussions and learn from one another through intelligent conversations. I believe theorist Ira Shor would agree with this since he strongly supports a type of learning that occurs through participation. Shor and I both agree that the classroom is a place where learning should be enjoyed instead of forced upon. Instead of having students memorize endless facts for the sole purpose of a test a teacher should have the students learn the material through activities and explain its significant value and thats its not just important to know for the exam. Connections should be made so that students can relate their knowledge to the outside world and to various subjects.I know that I am just beginning my journey to becoming a teacher but I feel that I have gained so much knowledge from this tutoring experience and that it has already significantly impacted my vision of the type of teacher i want to be.